In Love with my Brother

"May she wake in torment!" he cried with frightful vehemence, stamping his foot and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion. "Why, she's a liar to the end. Where is she? Not there--not in heaven --not perished---where?---Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer---I repeat it till my tongue stiffens---Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you---haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always----take any form ---drive me mad---only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! O God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

--Heathcliff

Probably the most remembered passage in Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, Heathcliff reveals his obsession and passion for Catherine. His mind curses her, yet his heart blesses her. How true the conflict of love and hate this is.

A popular song states: "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, that's all right because I love the way it hurts." Rihanna couldn't be more right. I've been there, and it's painful. Yet you want the other person so bad, so passionately, you feel you need them there, even if they set you on fire.

That's exactly how I felt the night my heart had been torn apart....

I had found the love of my life.

That was the night my father came in my room, trying to ask me about something. A guy on facebook had added me, another guy, as his boyfriend. My dad wanted to know if it was true, and what on earth I was thinking.

Yes, it was true. I was thinking that I loved him.

I won't name him, so don't worry, you're safe. :)

I was not embarrassed, but just felt so much shame coming from my father, I could barely stand it. I shut down, put up walls, started crying. Eventually he left, too frustrated to even look at me any more.

I told my boyfriend, and he was devastated. He never wanted me to have to go through that again. So he left....

I had been positive he was the one, my soul mate, the one who actually loved me, no matter what.... And partially, thats true. He will always love me, and I will always love him, as a brother. In fact, now we are brothers. We have been through so much. We always joke we both "have the shovel" and can be there for each other as fast as we can.

He will always be my brother.

Yet he was my boyfriend, for one day, and I wouldnt change a single thing. <3

I will post more when I have the courage.
Love,

Danny

I was afraid to turn this in as my AP English assignment because of its content. Yet I (willingly) choose to put this on my blog, knowing it may even reach people from my school. I'm not afraid. In fact, I'm proud.