Poison, Peace, and Elevator Music

When a situation comes that requires a quick, rational response, people are prone to panic and chaos. Emotion. Tears. You can hear the strife on the 911 calls. Cries of pain and shock. Car crashes. Some people are even drawn to aggression. It is frightening.

Saturday night, I was one of those people.

I had gotten a text from a close friend in another state while I was at work. It read: "I'm such a stupid wimp, i couldn't even finish my stupid life. *screams*"

I panicked.

Looking back, I'm surprised I acted the way I did. I immediately called her, only to get her voice mail. I said if she didn't call me back I would call the police, afraid she was dead.

Normally, I'm calm, understanding, and "under control." Now, think of the exact opposite: Wild, confused, emotional mess.

She called me back a few minutes later. Although we were on the phone for 15 minutes, I doubt she said more than 10 words. (This, along with my phone dying, didn't help my stress level.) I used a co-worker's phone, all the while smashing chocolate with a hammer. (I work at a Chocolatier. I'm sorry chocolate, I didn't mean to hurt you.)

My co-worker offered to pray with her, even though she declined. We both suggested she call 1-800-SUICIDE, the anonymous suicide hotline number. She eventually hung up.

Well, since she didn't, I did.

I called the suicide hotline. The routed me to the closest crisis center. Elevator music played in the background. It sounded like something out of "Chariots of Fire," and my co-worker and I couldn't help but laugh. Of all times to play music with a tone like "You can do it!"

Once I was routed, a young woman picked up the phone. I quickly explained what had happened to the best of my ability, still frantic and hopeless. I was scared. She was so nice and caring and showed me I did the right thing. She encouraged me to keep pursuing her, and I gave the woman her phone number. I'm guessing she called and left her a message, because I eventually got a text saying "I'm gonna kick your ass through the phone. :) "

Afterwards, my co-worker suggested we pray. I looked at her like she was crazy. I was thinking "My friend is on the edge of killing herself, and you want us to pray? Are you crazy?" I wanted to be like "Screw that, I'm calling 9-1-1." But I let her. As we held hands in the back of a chocolate store, I could her the prayers of us and a million others crying out to God, "Help us." I cried.

We then went back to doing our jobs, yet never forgetting that night. The suicide hotline number is now listed under our emergency contact list at work, and I feel much safer.


1-800-SUICIDE is a national hotline dedicated to crisis relief. It is completely anonymous, and only acts on information given to them. To Write Love on Her Arms gives some of their donations toward this cause. 18 million people in the United States alone suffer from depression. Please, if you or a loved one are going through times of turmoil and need help right now, call them. They're always there, and I highly recommend them. They saved me and my friend.

1-800-SUICIDE
(1-900-784-2433)

Your story matters.

Rescue is possible.

Love is the movement.